I'll never be happy in my marriage again!!

Do you know someone who is firmly convinced that they will never be happy in their marriage again? Perhaps someone who has become convinced that they married the wrong person?

Honestly, these thoughts have occurred to most of us who are in a long-term committed relationship from time to time. But the research is clear -- unhappy marrieds who stick it out, who seek help rather than just giving up, are overwhelmingly happier down the road that those who split up.

In their book The Case for Marriage, by Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher, the present the following statistics:

"How many unhappy couples turn their marriages around? The truth is shocking: 86 percent of unhappily married people who stick it out find that, five years later, their marriages are happier, according to an analysis of the National Survey of Families and Households done by Linda Waite for this book. Most say they're become very happy indeed. In fact, nearly three-fifths of those who said their marriage was unhappy in the late '80s and who stayed married, rate this same marriage as either "very happy" or "quite happy" when reinterviewed in the early 1990s.

"The very worst marriages showed the most dramatic turnarounds: 77 percent of the stably married people who rated their marriage as very unhappy (a one on a scale of one to seven) in the late eighties said that the same marriage was either "very happy" of "quite happy" five years later. Permanent marital unhappiness is surprisingly rare among the couples who stick it out. (emphasis added)"

pp. 148-149, The Case for Marriage, Linda L. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, 2000, Broadway Books, NY.